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Preparedness meets oppurtunity

success 3Recently I visited a certain cafe, and behind the counter stood a food assistant. She had been employed by this particular café for years. Diligent, hardworking and very good at her job, we had mutual respect based on origin.

On this occasion, as I placed my order and waited to pay. I took the time to really notice her and the surroundings in which we both stood. So much had changed, prompting my curiosity. I found myself wondering: How much of this change, had she, herself really experienced?

At that moment I realised that I had rarely seen her behind the cash register. Certainly not in the last 5 years. She was never the one collecting payments. Always the one making the sandwiches. Which to be fair, she did with such humility!

She was never the one collecting payments

Whilst I understand that not everyone can occupy the coveted position of managing the cash register. I felt a pang of ” distress” on her behalf. Is this all there is? and is she truly happy? Newer, younger staff now hold the converted position and my friendly food assistant is still the one making the sandwiches.

Then it hit me: it’s not so much the fact that she is never behind the till. It’s the readiness for the opportunity to be the managing that cash register. In our lives, what we put out can determine the opportunities that come our way.

Change-Your-Life-Get-Unstuck

 

None of us is born equipped. We have to work towards building our skills and widening our options. On the basis that our starting point should not be our end point. There has to be growth along the way, otherwise, I don’t care what anyone says your stuck!

if your stuck, you need to become unstuck. You need to move on from making the sandwiches to managing the till and potential running the cafe!

I say this with love: you CANNOT be afraid of learning. Technology is not going to bite you. Some jobs are not only meant for special people. You have the ability to do more, be more. Therefore seek more!

Without judgement don’t end up stuck in the same situation, having prepared to go nowhere! Seek more and meet your opportunities. They are in abundance all around you!

stay confident 🙂

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A heart of gratitude

I love quiet mornings. They are pure indulgence. And this morning I was basking in it. Even my husband noticed.

I always wake up with a worship song on my mind. Today it was: “Looking for a Saviour” by United Pursuit. As I played it, I was just overcome with the goodness of God

It’s so easy to forget the good times and the truly amazing moments. The ‘God moments’. Where nothing makes sense and not because there is confusion. But because stressful situations change to blessings overnight. Long awaited goals, suddenly take momentum.

Reflecting on my professional journey, with this in mind. I realized that though I felt, perhaps I could have achieved more. There was no point looking back with sadness or regret. I would not rewrite a fictitious story in my head.

As I can only look forward with gratitude! That despite, my own confused state of mind at times. Or the years living in my head, never truly fixed on a destination. God still enabled me to succeed.

Reaffirming that with faith, all things are possible

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Choose to love

Reading daily devotionals positively influence my outlook. They always seems so apt. As if personally written for me.

The theme that has inspired me recently is love. The word is, to me, one of the most powerful in the universe. Love can build up or break down a person in a split second.

I believe the power of the word, lies not in the word itself. It is the actions used in demonstrating the word. That impacts so deeply.

I recently experienced a relationship breakdown with a family member. It was hurtful. I thought ‘that’s it! I’ll love, but not like. I am no longer invested. I will help if needed, but I am done!’

But is it that simple not to love? And in responding in this way, am demonstrating love as my faith encourages? No, and no I am not!

I am dictating the terms on which I will love. And that is not love in its truest form. Love should not be a reaction to the behaviour of others.

How can I change my attitude and love despite another’s action? By simply continuing to love them. Without prejudice.

The Bible does say love your enemies. And pray for those who do not wish you well. So in changing my attitude, the outcome of that relationship can change.

Not to mention if I simply choose to love, I set myself free from hate.

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Don’t forgot about “you”

It’s been 23 days since I last shared or connected. Being absent online, gave me the opportunity to invest time in myself. To reflect and identify with the path i’m currently on.

I think it is important to be able to switch off, as and when you need it. As we are first and foremost beholden to ourselves. Our mental and physical well-being.

In my time of reflecting, I read a couple of amazing blog pieces that deepenly inspired me. One very important question I had to ask myself, was: what is my expectation for this season of my life”

Am I planting, sowing or reaping? Is my plan well thought out? And do I know how I’ll indentify when I’ve achieved it.

I have encouraged many over the years to explore these questions. To be clear on the direction and decisions made. How easy it is to forgot to heed your own advice!

It is important to refuel as you give out and encourage others, as you can easily self neglect.

In the end it wasn’t difficult to answer those questions, because the vision is there. It doesn’t change, it just gets buried in everyday life sometimes.

The key is selfcare. Taking time out to dream, give your vision center stage. Review the goals and refuel.

The question is: are you due some TLC?

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Co-parenting: lessons learnt the hard way

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This blog is abut story telling, no specific topic just the honest truth about what I’ve experienced, how it has impacted my journey and can encourage yours.

So here goes….. Co-parenting (or whatever they call it),  that really half the times makes  parenting no less stressful, is a lesson in patience, kindness, wisdom and essentially all 9  fruits of the spirit.

Don’t you just love terminology?

I think it’s a good thing for both parents to be involved in a child’s life where possible. And would never dispute otherwise.

But let’s be honest adults once the relationship has broken down, especially if it was quite spectacular, recovering from it can be quite a challenge. It can take years and an abundance of maturity to work together and honestly speaking the child may get to 18 long before that ever happens.

I currently “co-parent” and 25% of the time I don’t have a problem sharing in the responsibility of raising our child. Dad is devoted and his daughter is number 1 in his life. The other 75% though is dread. It represents the time I spent dealing with the unorganised approach to anything or the hypochondriac tendencies.

Every decision, action and reaction is dramatised and I have to work twice as hard not to let this persons drama become my reality. Although I am no longer with the person, If I do not exercise caution, important aspects of my life can be negatively impacted because we share a child. And that does not work for me.

I want to share with you some of the lessons I have learnt over the years, in the hope that if you are in this position or this is about to become your reality, you recognise that:

You are no alone and it can get easy when you choose to control your actions and not the actions of the other party

  1. Set your boundaries and keep to them. Every heard of parent-child relationship?  As the parent you are consistent in making your point, even though the child is demanding something else. Co-parenting falls into the parent-child scenario, and the only way to ensure that your boundaries are observed is to set them and be consistent.
  2. Use wisdom and pick your battles wisely. You cannot force or make the other co-parent do things your way. And it is unhealthy to spend your time trying. Understand what is really important to you in terms of your parenting style and whether the outcome is for your benefit or the child’s.
  3. A response is not always needed. I am still learning this one. A text message does not always need a response.  And a not so sensible plan, that you can clearly see going south, with you left to pick up the pieces, does not always need a response. Trust me, save your thoughts for when a response truly matters.
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Surrender to happiness

be-happy-quote-design_1076-175.jpgIt’s ok to be happy for no apparent reason, don’t analyse the moment, just enjoy it. 

Give in to the quiet butterfly sensation in the pit of your stomach, and allow it to rise to the sky.

Let the smile that comes to your lips, reach wide and the weight released from your form fly